Give Everything

I know I’ve been gone forever so I decided to start over and make a new personal blog, now that pre-winter training and CRASH-B’s are over so a lot of pressure has been taken off my shoulders, among other reasons. And yes, my training blog will remain the same - you can message me for that one too, if you are so inclined.

This one will stay up only because I’m a nostalgic bastard and like to look through my old posts (don’t judge me).

because I need too. I’m locking myself out of my tumblr again, but this time will be a little different. My mother is going to have the password, and after I have finished all my training and homework for the day, then she will log me in. And that will probably only be for a few minutes while I update my training blog.

There’s eleven weeks until CRASH-B’s. Plus I always struggle during these next few months of the year with motivation, have for four+ years. A distraction/procrastination tool like Tumblr is not going to help, especially when part of my long-term goal is to keep my grades up so that I can get into a D1 college with both academics and athletics, with scholarship money to help me. I need to buckle down hard; going to amp up my training I think. I’m considering doing something in the morning (run or lift weights?), and doing more core work, especially on days opposite strength and conditioning/erging.

Though I love tumblr, I find myself staying up later than I should on it, which is detrimental to my training. I do poorly on little sleep, physically and mentally. I also find that when I see a lot of sad things, about depression and cutting and loneliness, it affects my mood. I’m in no way condemning it, I can relate sometimes and normally I would be okay with it, but in the winter I’m more prone to it. And I can’t allow myself to be sucked in by it, not this year. 

Anyway. I’ll be around, as long as I get my homework done early enough.
Train hard, kids. Medals are earned in the winter and collected in the spring.

I’m often amazed at how relaxing watching arguably one of the most violent professional team sports is, at least for me. My dad is the typical Canadian; shovels his own damn driveway, eats everything quickly (so it doesn’t get cold), starts saying “eh” after a couple beers, and of course, played hockey as a kid. Because of him, I have been watching hockey since I was a baby.

Now it’s the one thing that relaxes me like nothing else. I often find that it has become soothing background noise; the skates on the ice, the referee’s whistles, the same commentators’ voices I have heard for years. At this point I understand the game enough that I don’t even have to actively watch it. If I’m not consciously interested in the game, I will still often curl up on the couch to watch, and either fall into my own thoughts or fall asleep. Sometimes I’ll just listen while I do homework, half the time from upstairs in my room, where I can still hear the game but can’t make out what is being said.

I don’t really know what inspired this, besides there being a game on tonight and not wanting to write my AP Lang essay. Note- take me to a game and this attitude will totally reverse. I get pretty psyched.